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Grab a Kleenex



I only write when I’m moved to write. I wait for an idea to show up and when it feels right, I sit down and write. What I write about today has shown up for me a lot this year, and may have for you as well. It’s about crying. Stay with me if you will, as I know this is an uncomfortable topic. The last year I have cried during happy moments, times of loss, and times when I have been scared. I’ve also been witness to many tears. I guess you could say I’ve been a “participant observer,” as they called it when I was working on my Sociology degree. I want to share with you some thoughts about crying and why I think it is one of the most beautiful things we, as humans do. Crying seems to get a bad rap and I don’t know why. I like to have a photo or saying go with my blogging, so I tried to find a positive saying or picture for this story and it was impossible. As I roamed the internet, I found “Don’t cry over spilt milk.” Or, “Don’t Cry.” I found “It’s not worth crying about.” I couldn’t come up “Go ahead and cry” or “Please feel free to cry.” Nope, everything seemed resistant to crying. Ever wonder why this is? I asked my friends why they thought people don’t cry when they probably should. I heard “Crying is exhausting.” They said “Crying makes people feel uncomfortable.” We all have heard “There’s no crying in baseball!” And, the one I had never heard, “If I cry I will ruin my make-up!” Seems like there are many reasons NOT to cry, but here are some reasons to shed a tear, or perhaps encourage someone to cry. When we cry, there is a magic about it. It tells a story. For example, people often cry at weddings as the emotion of love comes over them. Same thing for when a baby is born, right? Tears of joy we call them. It tells a story of how deep their love is and how moved they are by the situation. How many of us cried when we watched the Olympics this year? What does that tell you? Then there are tears for fears. Wasn’t that the name of a band in the 80’s? Being so scared it brings you to tears tells another story. When someone is so scared they cry I suddenly understand just how passionate they are about the situation. It’s a gift and an honor when someone cries in front of you. Encourage them to let it out and to share with you what’s on their mind. What if we were just a little more compassionate and encouraged others to be that real? To be that raw. To not hold back and instead, create a safe place for them to feel that deep and be ok with it? I LOVE IT. Tears don’t lie. Tears show us exactly what we are passionate about. They show us what we are scared about. It tells us how much pain, emotional or physical. It tells us how much love. Like a meter, it is a tool or an indicator of just how deeply we care, hurt or worry. It tells us how hard it may be. When someone cries in front of me I know exactly where they are with something or someone. In my coaching that’s where I want to go with my clients. That’s where the magic is. What an honor for someone to be that real in front of us. And what if we respected ourselves so much that instead of pushing the tears away, we let them fall? A friend of mine told me once, “For Pete’s sake, if you are going to cry, make it count!” Ever wonder why you feel better after a good cry? I predict it’s because we allowed ourselves to be true to who we are. It always feels good to let down are guard and speak our truth. I personally don’t think it’s healthy to not shed a tear once in a while. Crying should make you feel alive. It tells you what or who you are passionate about. When others cry around you, there no more guessing how they feel. They don’t even need to say anything and you can understand. Pretty universal isn’t it? What would you like to release or express today that is so deep and so true to who you are, that you could just cry? Go ahead, I give you permission. I might even cry with you.

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